Fears and Hopes

These past few days have been very tumultuous. The kids are on edge, Rob is overwhelmed, and I am out of the house all day, and not much help. The last big moves for both of the kids were when they joined our family  - January 12, 2008 for R, and January 12, 2010 for A. And those were not exactly stress free moves. Lots of loss, and that time too, they both left their prior homes with only what they could carry. A especially is just a ball of tears - crying at the drop of a hat, and sad sad sad.

Me and A on charter in SW Florida, July 2012

Amazing to believe that less than 5 years ago at age 3, R had 1 pair of PJ's, one jacket, 1 hat, 3 shirts, 2 pairs of pants, 5 pair socks, 3 books, and one stuffed animal, some spiderman christmas lights, and a few power ranger action figures, and 3 movies. And now, we are asking him to have just about that much on the boat. And A did not even have that. She came with one sweatsuit, the clothes on her back, and some little boy PJ's, and a ratty old coat. And now, the toy bins, closets, drawers and garage are filled to overflowing with books, toys, clothes, equipment, mementos, treasures...stuff.

R on one of our first visits

I have been asking the family about hopes and fears, and thought I would document a few.

R is most excited about living on the boat and playing wii, playing with the guys, and being close to Mommy. And, he says "it is going to be a snap for me to clean up my room." While snapping.

A is most excited about spending time with Mommy, and sleeping in the v-berth. It's like a cave.

Daddy Rob is most excited about it being easy to clean. He is looking forward to the sounds of nature, watching the sunset every night, and getting projects done on the boat.

I am most excited about the process of eliminating stuff from our lives, living and cooking and eating on such a small scale, and living more of an outdoor life, with bikes, kayaks, and walking.

R is most nervous about being too close to A. I share this fear.

A is most nervous about giving away some of her toys. I think this will dissolve quickly she really plays with her brother, and books, and dolls, and not much else.

Rob is most nervous about the kids tormenting him MORE because they are bored. I am worried about that too.

I am nervous about us deciding that this is not the boat we want..and that what we do want is going to be too expensive. I am most nervous about Rob hating the grind of dishes, laundry and repairs, and feeling like there is more to do, not less, as we move aboard, and being GRUMPY because of it. Andof my clothes and towel smelling moldy (will someone tell me if I don't notice, please?) I am nervous that A will stay sad.

And, I am excited about the new dialogs that will open up, and the resolution on the other side of all of the conflicts. How we will grow closer and sort it out through our love for one another, and our commitment to this vision for our family.

Wish us luck, and thanks for reading.

Shannon