so this morning i'm wandering around our sellable-stuff strewn house wondering what else i can organize into some pile. punctuated by moments of fear, that we're making a huge mistake, my time is spent packing, entertaining kids, and attempting to understand what life will be like. then i catch myself hyper ventilating and realize that we're not re-inventing the wheel or moving into a cave on an Amish farm, we're just downsizing. i think it's the fact that this has been a conscious choice and that if it were being thrust upon us by an external source, such as a large corporation going through a round of lay-offs, we'd have the luxury of being able to blame something. i sound like a spoiled jack-ass don't i? thousands of people have been forced to go through this without the payoff of feeling superior for creating less waste, using less energy, or consuming less product. who are we to be afraid? still......., we are.
i very much look forward to our family becoming a more cohesive and loving bunch who are learning that what really turns us on is each other and the world around us. learning to make friends in foreign ports, providing a helping hand, and being a resource for positivity and transformation are all goals shannon and i share and i THINK we both realize that, as newly self-minted "global individuals", this will all take lots of practice and rigor to achieve. it's overly easy to sit at this keyboard and arm-chair prospect about our future. but each day we take a step towards our designed life and that is what's counting right now.
-returning to ch.16